Coughing into your hands is gross. I thought this was common knowledge.

Lesson #1

A. Scenario: Some guy in the Metro this morning let out a few loud, phlegmy type coughs. Disgusting enough to hear, right? But hey, it’s normal. Then I look over. He had coughed into his hands. I kept watching him. Sure enough, when it was his stop at the metro, he got up, and grabbed the pole to keep his balance. He grabbed it with the hands he just coughed into.

I don’t have Mysophobia. Hell, I walk around barefoot half the time, and before I moved to the city, I walked around barefoot all of the time. I have a 4 year old. I worked in an elementary school for 5 years. I’m not afraid of a few germs. It’s not like I walk around with hand sanitizer in my bag or something. But there are limits.

B. Proper Technique:

Here’s how to cough:

  1. Recognize that a cough is imminent.
  2. Raise your arm up a bit.
  3. Instead of putting your hand in front of your mouth, move the inside of your elbow up to your mouth
  4. Cough toward the inside of your elbow.
  5. If you are on the Metro, do not touch the inside of your arm to anything. Wait!! Isn’t that so much simpler than not trying to touch anything with your hands after you’ve coughed into them?
  6. If you absolutely MUST cough into your hands, such as you’re such a slow thinker you’d forget to cough into the inside of your elbow, then for the love of God, carry around a little hand sanitizer, huh? I don’t want your germs all over the poles inside the Metro Rail.

C. Images:

Here are some images to help you develop the proper technique:

NO

YES

Like this, you idiot.

credit

Afterward: If you think it’s gross to cough near yourself, think of how it’s even more gross to cough in your hands and touch everything.

Note from the Author: Don’t get me sick, when there’s clearly another more sensible way to cough.